Tool: Create the Space
Sunday, June 19, 2016
"First things first."
Creating the space is one of my own personal go-to favourite coaching tools.
It’s pretty simple. You have to create the space for what you want. You may want peace. Vision. Rest. Progress. You can reach these - even for a moment - by creating some space for them. If you want your life to be different, it doesn’t work so well to keep doing things the same. Creating space can be the foundation for making a shift.
It doesn’t have to be the whole day. Even a whole hour. It may be five minutes a day. It may be taking a whole day. It may be allowing yourself to be present in a moment. It may be creating the space for a conversation.
It may be creating physical space. Changing the function of the space you are in. Re-defining the space you inhabit.
It may be mental space. Allowing for possibility. Allowing yourself to consider something new, or different. Allowing yourself to process something you might have been avoiding. Allowing yourself to take a look at your vision. Allowing yourself to take a look at your heart. What does your heart want?
If you want something to change or happen - you have to help allow it. Creating the space for it starts that shift.
Sometimes creating space takes years.
Sometimes it is awkward. It can mean saying "no" - to new projects, or things that don’t fit your new plan or perspective. If anyone asks why, you can explain that you are working on an important project. If more questions come and you feel like answering, you could explain that you are building a new lifestyle.
You are. Build it.
I have created the space for new jobs, new people, this counterfear idea, a new home, a big move… but it all started with recognizing I wanted something different, and creating the space for it.
Creating space can allow you to counter fear by giving you the time to process it, look at it, assess it, and figure out what to do next. It can help you build resilience, and increased resilience helps counter fear. Taking the time to listen to your heart can help you counter fear. It can help you re-prioritize what you want, and where you are going.
First Things First
I leave you with this story, from the book ‘First Things First,’ by Covey, Merrill, and Merrill:
“‘I attended a seminar once where the instructor was lecturing on time. At one point, he said, ‘Okay, it’s time for a quiz.’ He reached under the table and pulled out a wide-mouth gallon jar. He set it on the table next to a platter with some fist-sized rocks on it. ‘How many of these rocks do you think we can get in the jar?’ he asked.
After we made our guess, he said, ‘Okay, let’s find out.’ He set one rock in the jar… then another… then another. I don’t remember how many he got in, but he got the jar full. Then he asked, ‘Is that jar full?’
Everybody looked at the rocks and said, ‘Yes.’
Then he said, ‘Ahhh.’ He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. Then he dumped some gravel in and shook the jar and the gravel went in all the little spaces left by the big rocks. Then he grinned and said once more, ‘Is the jar full?’
By this time we were on to him. ‘Probably not,’ we said.
‘Good!’ he replied. And he reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand in and it went in all the little spaces left by the rocks and the gravel. Once more he looked at us and said, ‘Is the jar full?’
‘No!’ we all roared.
He said, ‘Good!’ and he grabbed a pitcher of water and began to pour it in. He got something like a quart of water in that jar. Then he said, ‘Well, what’s the point?’
Somebody said, ‘Well, there are gaps, and if you really work at it, you can always fit more into your life.’
‘No,’ he said, ‘that’s not the point. The point is this: if you hadn’t put these big rocks in first, would you ever have gotten any of them in?’”
Create the space.
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